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The gender war on women continues by allowing people to think that calling a woman a “bird” is fair.
The idea that women are called “birds” as an insult to their ability to reflect a level of rational thinking and maturity is disturbing. To me, a bird is free; to the internet, a “bird” has her head in the clouds with no clue of what is good or bad for her. A “bird” lacks discernment, especially when it comes to matters with the opposite sex.
In many of the cases, these women are called “birds”, she is trusting a man completely and totally with themselves. She is open, and he is going to do something that makes everyone question her rationale. This stems from the belief that who a woman dates, marries and shares a life with is a reflection of who she is. It’s tough, it shouldn’t be that way, and men don’t face the same dilemma. For a man, his own actions define him, and nobody else’s.
This conversation reminds me of the trending topic from last year on how “having a boyfriend is embarrassing”. I never liked the guilt and shame it encouraged in women who chose to have and keep a man. I think women have enough overall shame and fear of embarrassment in their lives, than for us to also carry and take responsibility for our associations with people outside of ourselves. This begs the question: why are women consistently judged so heavily for another person’s actions? Additionally, why is it necessary for society to gather and punish women for the mistakes they think they’ve made?
A woman is not defined by her choice of partner
Dionne and Murray from Clueless, film still via Pinterest. (Original creator unknown) If this is your work, please reach out for proper credit. As a woman, there is so much pressure around finding the perfect partner to be with. “He has to be…” – insert all the features of a dream man. This list you create is for yourself, they reflect the qualities a person you want to share intimacy with and live with should have. There is also another list, one that the community, aunties and mothers create when they tell you what a partner should be. For a woman, who she ends up with is a serious concern that affects the trajectory of her life. Often, women shrink their lives to accommodate having and sustaining a relationship; they are the glue that keeps families together.
Yet, even with all this pressure, a woman should not be treated as a public reflection of a man’s morality, intelligence or behaviour. Relationships involve vulnerability, trust and hope — qualities that should not be weaponised against women when things go wrong. A woman can make a sincere choice based on the information, love and commitment available to her at the time, and still be disappointed, betrayed or blindsided. That does not make her foolish, weak or deserving of ridicule. Reducing women to the men they date strips them of individuality and reinforces the harmful idea that a woman’s value is always tied to her ability to choose and keep the “right” man, instead of being recognised for who she is on her own terms.
Read also: Why calling yourself a feminist still matters in today’s social and political reality
A woman is her own person
Dionne Warwick, played by Stacey Dash, in Clueless via Pinterest. (Original creator unknown) If this is your work, please reach out for proper credit. I am a woman who is aware that a large part of the world’s history is someone somewhere wagging their finger at a woman and telling them how wrong they are. I am also a woman who was raised to be cautious of our patriarchal society. It wasn’t that we pushed back with our feminist beliefs, but that we navigated the world in a way that prioritised our safety and peace of mind. If that meant keeping quiet, then we were silent. If that meant apologising first, then we would say “I am sorry” no matter how untrue it was. I was taught to calculate solutions, remain hyper vigilant and not reveal how smart I was.
These days, that same hyper vigilance is exhausting. I’m tired of going on a walk anywhere and checking behind me every five minutes to see if someone is following me. I also never want the responsibility of checking a man’s phone to see if he’s faithful. I truly hate worrying about my drink getting spiked at the bar, especially when I go out alone. There are just way too many opportunities to look away from my drink and for someone to slip something inside. Most importantly, I’m tired of de-escalating situations by shrinking down my opinion and perspective. This exhaustion forced me to realise that I was policing myself based on the potential of someone else’s actions. This isn’t something new; many women have been conditioned to create a self and a personality defined by what people will do, say and think about them.
Be true to yourself
Toni from Girlfriends via Pinterest. (Original creator unknown) if this is your work please reach out for proper credit. I truly believe that we fail ourselves and our life’s essence by not living for ourselves, by not giving ourselves room to form our own person.
I want to experience life as a full human being, not as someone constantly rehearsing consequences before I speak or make a choice. A woman deserves the freedom to make mistakes, change her mind, trust the wrong people and remain worthy of dignity and respect. Personhood cannot exist fully where fear, shame and public judgment are constantly waiting to discipline women back into obedience.
So is a woman really a “bird”
Cleotrapa photographed by Sophia Wilson via @phiawilson on Instagram If being a “bird” means being naive, irrational or incapable of discernment, then no women are not birds. Women are people navigating a world that often demands perfection from them, while excusing complexity in everyone else. A woman trusting someone, loving someone or choosing someone who later disappoints her should not become proof of her stupidity. It should simply be understood as part of the human experience.
What disturbs me most about the term is not the insult in itself, but the culture behind it. Women are constantly watched, analysed, and mocked for how they move through life. Every mistake is evidence, every relationship becomes a public referendum on her intelligence, and every act of vulnerability is treated like foolishness. There is something deeply unfair about expecting women to predict every betrayal, avoid every disappointment and somehow remain untouched by the realities of human connection.
Perhaps the real issue is that society still struggles to see women as complete people outside of what they represent to others. A woman can be intelligent and still fall in love. She can be cautious and still trust the wrong person. She can be strong and desire companionship. None of these things makes her weak-minded or worthy of embarrassment and humiliation.
So no, I do not think a woman is a “bird”. I think she is a person, one who deserves the freedom to exist without being reduced to a joke, a warning sign or a lesson for other women.
React to this post!The post Calling a woman a “bird” is not only problematic but it’s also propaganda that positions women as the inferior sex appeared first on Marie Claire Nigeria.
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